4/10/13

You better not shout, you better not pout...



A Krampus Night Before Christmas
 
Greetings my shambling, shuffling friends.
 
I have been absent for awhile but for good reason, a new website is coming down the pipes, and soon
I will be writing putredly pleasant reviews about all things horror, sci fi and fantasy, not just zombies anymore. This new site will be named FREAKY GREAT REVIEWS, and I cant wait till it is up and running.
 
To start off this new direction, I have the perfect short story to rave about.
 
Upon reading it you will be transported to that magical time of year, when the cold north wind is blowing through the skeletal silouhettes of hybernating trees, and armies of parents are descending on the stores enmasse to spoil their kids rotten weather they deserve it or not.
 
In the old countries it is known as yuletide, a celebration of the returning of the light as the days grow longer with under tones of mischief and wicked things in the shadows, but in North America we know it as the goody gumdrop, sweet candy, present recieving holiday called Christmas.
 
Even though we all know that there are ample 10 year old spoiled brats who scream at their parents for santa to bring them bed springs...errr...slinkies, and Iphones, all hope is not lost and an old tradition has finally made it to North America, one that brings the fear back into the season and threatens corporal punishment at the hands of a horned beast of a man who heaps pain upon rude kids whose parents dont believe in spanking.
 
I am talking about KRAMPUS, the original companion of Santa Clause, who was ignored by a Christmas revisionist named Clement Moore when he penned the classic 'The Night Before Christmas' back in the 1800's and permanently changed christmas in North America.
 
But all is not lost, for Clement Moore has an evil doppleganger, who is here to set the story straight with the delightfully twisted tale that will introduce children to the real reason that they better not pout, shout, or cry,...why? Because Santa is sending Krampus to town!
 
A KRAMPUS NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
Written by Clement GORE with illustrations by Kalyan Purohit and Gilbert Montes.
 
If you are the type of parent who loves taking your kid to watch the latest Tim Burton films, and every christmas day you have 'A nightmare Before Christmas' on your dvd player, then THE KRAMPUS NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS will become the book you read to your kids on Christmas eve while tucking them into bed.
 
This dreadfully delicious Christmas story begins with a quote from Pope Benedict the XVI and his experience as a child with the Yule time Krampus run in his Austrian home town, and how the threat of Santa's horned demon henchmen coming for the naughty would help throughout the year to keep kids on their best behavior.
 
The scenes of this traditionally accurate Christmas poem are beautifully illustrated, with the addition of twisted tree ornaments and toys adorning the opposite pages, and the poem ends with a short tail as to the creation of Santa and Krampus as Giver and Punisher of the Yuletide season.
 
Time to bite into the meat of this G.R.E.A.T. Review.
 
G-raphics and illustrations: superb, creepy, and atmospheric, sure to put visions of fright into a naughty kids mind, while they lay in bed on Christmas eve pondering if they will recieve a visit from Santa, or Krampus. 9.0
 
R-ealism: while it is a fantastical tale of a poem, it is re-introducing people to the original story of Santa and his helper Krampus, thus putting the holiday back on its proper path. 9.0
 
E-ntertainment: I read this to my daughter last Christmas EVE, and I could see fear and horror in her eyes as she exclaimed " Krampus is more meaner than I thought dad", before she sunk into her comforter and pulled it up tight about her neck. so I give Entertainment a 10, because scaring my kids will always be entertaining.
 
A-ccuracy: This is a retelling of a classic poem, but Clement Gore has inserted part of the true tradition of christmas that was convienently left out by that stuffed shirt Clement Moore. 8.5
 
T-hrills: Bringing back a classic icon into the holiday season, and smashing the goody gumdrop image of Christmas sold to us from department stores filled me with a warm fuzzy feeling all over, for Krampus tis the reason for the season. So if the thoughts of local community Krampus runs, scaring naughty kids into being nice, does not give you a thrill, then nothing will. 9.0
 
The total G.R.E.A.T. score is 9.1 out of 10!
 
Knowledge of Krampus is increasing yearly along with krampus runs and pub crawls taking place in communities all across america now, and even though it will be 7 more months till you can participate in krampus festivities, in the mean time you can find a copy of A KRAMPUS NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS by going to www.Krampus.ca
 
What happens to a naughty kid who recieves a visit from Krampus on Christmas eve? You will have to read A KRAMPUS NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS to find out.
 
Thanks for reading, and until my next post, I will be shuffling along with the lost.

2 comments:

Jimmy Blue said...

written by Jimmy Blue

brought to us by
www.thewalkingdeadfanclub.com

Jimmy Blue said...

This is the excellent short cartoon for the book I reviewed earlier this week A KRAMPUS NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS...give it a quick watch its only five minutes.

http://youtu.be/UkYb3uS8Jbw